So I made it to Cambodia! I’ve been here now for five weeks and life is good. Let me start by saying how grateful I am for all the love and support stepping into what God is doing. My journey to answer the call that the Lord put in front of me has been one of the scariest yet beautiful things I’ve done in my life. I’ve sat many times during worship and told the Lord “I am ready, send me and I will go” but honestly when He started moving I thought, wait a second I meant later not now. In no way did I feel ready for what He was showing me and leading me into. It was definitely a wrestling match between the Lord and I. As He would remind me daily, answering the call was less about being “ready” and so much more about being “willing” to take the next step.
Four years ago I was lead and welcomed home out of drug addiction and homelessness having lost everything I felt like I worked my whole life to get. Yet it took losing all the things of this world before I felt truly blessed. Taking steps closer into relationship with Jesus, He began to bless me in every way. I had an amazing job, a vehicle, my own place, family and more people loving me than I would have ever imagined. Jesus had walked with me into reviving my career, building relationships, and rebuilding my heart with passion not only for food but for people. In many ways It became comfortable. So when He began calling me to go it was scary. As I look back He was calling me once again out of the things I had gained in this world but through the process I realized that what He had truly blessed me with was not only the things around me but what He had built in me, and that I will never have to leave, that will always be in me. Today I am a rich man, a blessed man, not for having everything I’ve ever wanted but in having everything I’ve ever truly needed. There is a longing deep inside of all of us for relationship, for acceptance, for Jesus and to discover the sacred anointing God has placed deep in the roots of who we are. Many times this longing is buried beneath layers of fear, false hope, pain and disappointment but I can tell you from where I stand today that when we find our sacred anointing, our true self, that thing we were created for from the beginning, life begins and at this point in life there's no going back. Every step I've taken towards answering the call to Cambodia the Lord has shown up, sturdied me and confirmed this is the way.
Much of this beginning time here in Cambodia has been about finding my way physically and spiritually. I’ve settled nicely into my apartment. My balcony has become my sanctuary spending many night worshiping over this city. I got a moto for transportation and relationships are beginning to grow with our amazing team and the beautiful people of Cambodia. As I cruise the streets on my moto, many times lost, I'm starting to hear people shout my name which is pretty cool (Its kind of hard to miss a big guy smiling on a little moto).
As I was sitting with the Lord a few days ago I had a vision of me standing on a pillar high up above land (FYI I'm afraid of heights) and everything was moving really fast all around me also at times things would stop and felt very close to me then things would begin moving rapidly again. Many times I was a bit freaked out and wanted to open my eyes but I felt the Lord say, do you trust me, do you trust me to move with your eyes closed? I kept my eyes closed and it became very peaceful. I want to encourage you to trust the slow work or the fast work of the Lord even when we’re in a scary or uncomfortable place and even if you can't see with your eyes but close your eyes so you can see with your heart.
I want to thank you all for joining me in life and believing in the wild dreams of God. I am beyond blessed by all of you supporting this journey through the Kingdom whether financially, in prayer or just keeping Cambodia in your heart. As I begin to write and process through my journey, I look forward to sharing the wildness with all of you.
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